If I didn’t include your lyric, it’s only because your line was truly terrible, and you should feel bad for having submitted it. VERSE 4: It's Christmas time in the Tar Heel State VERSE 3: It's Christmas time in the Tar Heel State VERSE 2: It's Christmas time in the Tar Heel StateīRIDGE: A little country but always proper I could be in the mountains or at the beach Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when published VERSE 1: It's Christmas time in the Tar Heel State Despite all of that, a few of you truly understood the assignment: ![]() Plus, many of you made every line rhyme, so it was hard to do an A-B-A-B rhyming scheme. Substack arranges comments by algorithm instead of in chronological order by default, so it’s hard to see the line that came right before yours. No matter how you shake it, a Christmas song about this state is still going to be mostly about Christmas.Īlso, I wasn’t clear enough in my instructions. Also, honestly, you need a decent ratio of Christmas schmaltz to regional specificity. Hence, I got a lot of great lyrics like “If you’re a reindeer better hope I don’t see ya/Cause you’ll be in my aunts stew down in Conetoe” that I just couldn’t fit in. There has to be some sort of connective tissue-some setup to make the punchline or the hook work. If they were, they’d probably function better as an episode of 30 Rock. For one thing, songs aren’t all one-liners. This was always going to be an exercise in chaos. Earlier this week, I asked you all to help write a North Carolina Christmas song one line at a time. Share Let’s write a song the Luddite way! But you know what that song doesn’t have? (Taps chest). I also tried a bah humbug song about how bad sweet tea is, and it was more diss track than Christmas song (“But lately I've been feeling quite queasy/Every time I take a sip, it makes me feel sleazy.”) After several tries, I realized that a computer can crank out lyrics to a pop Christmas song that casually references North Carolina. I ran a few more variations through the chatbot, including one for Petey Pablo (“Petey Pablo’s home state is where the magic happens”) and one that references Mack Brown’s puffy coat (“He wears it to the football game/to keep out the chilly breeze/he wears it to his press conferences/it’s his favorite holiday piece”). The rest of it is warmed-over warmth and ‘tis the season smarm. Basically, the AI-generated North Carolina Christmas world consists of the mountains, the coast, the “Tar Heel State”, and ambiguous weather. No stereotypes like sweet tea and collards. I ran it a few more times, and it doesn’t get any more specific than that. ![]() You can’t have both at the same time! Pick one, computer. This song keeps talking about sunshine and blue skies and gently falling snow. Outro: North Carolina, North Carolina, Where Christmas comes to life, Bringing love and peace and joy, To our hearts and homes tonight. Verse 2: In the cities and the towns, People bustle all around, Preparing for the holiday, With laughter and with sound.īridge: From the mountains to the coast, We come together as one, Celebrating Christmas time, Underneath the shining sun. Verse 1: In the land of the Tar Heel State, Where the skies are bright and blue, It's that time of year again, When Christmas comes into view.Ĭhorus: North Carolina, North Carolina, Where the snowflakes gently fall, Bringing joy and happiness, To us all. When I asked it to write a North Carolina Christmas song, it awkwardly came up with this: ![]() So, in that vein, what would a North Carolina Christmas song sound like? For guidance, I turned to a few places, but first to OpenAI’s ChatGPT, which basically scans the internet for knowledge and uses artificial intelligence to generate frighteningly cogent responses to prompts.
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